X Factor: Live Show 8 Review

Posted by Judy Johnson On Sunday, 28 November 2010 14:45 0 comments
Rock week. 'Rock' week. Urgh. Should I stop there? I'm glad, based on my Twitter feed, that I am not alone in thinking this year's series is getting a bit ridiculous. This week Louis surpassed himself in being the most irritating person on the show (yes, even more than Katie), Cheryl upped her loser status with as much ghetto speak as possible, while all the contestants returned to their usual selves - apart from Wagner who didn't do a medley. Shocking. Whatever next? Cher sporting the 'natural look'?


Wagner
For song one we were made to just listen to him, while he stood there not doing very much. It was all very dull, not fun to listen to and frankly perfect proof that the only reason he's there is because he's a jolly-looking Brazilian. Sadly, the irony was not lost when he sang Creep, with lyrics like 'I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here'- yes Wagner, we all think that too. Every week. Poor guy.


The dancers were back in force for song two (though Matt borrowed them later) where he killed Addicted to Love while looking like he was going to a funeral.  It might as well be his own given the crowd's boos but then they don't seem to be the ones voting, the silly sods.  The 'creep' lyrics came back to mind when he mentioned that he loves working with the dancers on stage.... euw. I hope he doesn't win, just because all the comments after will be so awkward, but at the same time it would be great just to declare this series a write-off much like the Michelle McManus days of Pop Idol (you know she's a TV presenter now? Bit of random trivia for you.)


Cher
Not one of her best performances because it doesn't suit her at all, Cher takes on Girlfriend to start off. They've dressed her in a weird little prom dress which just looks really creepy - it reminds me of (I think this is where it's from) the Gremlins when one is dressed up as a girl and has scary red lipstick on... it's just like putting a little monster in a dress. She was also trying to look a bit sexy and pouty in this but that will never work - unlike Fergie who is tough but sexy, Cher is just tough and looks like she carries a pen knife. She cannot do sultry and I hope she doesn't ever try again.


Song two - singing Walk this Way, Cher ends the night on a better note. I'm not sure if I'm alone in this but I prefer her when she does her 'rap' as for me it actually works and suits her. I just wish she wouldn't dress like a chav, and do that thing with her mouth (see where she says 'kiss' in the lyrics) - it's like a gurning snarl. If she wasn't so full of it, I would like her after this performance.


Rebecca Ferguson
Rebecca starts off with Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, and I couldn't agree more. I am still waiting for her to stop finding the floor fascinating and to move her feet at least shoulder-width apart. Even without a microphone stand as her friend she looks a little lost. More importantly, she looked utterly bored to tears during this song (as was I) - it's almost as if she knows she can sing so she's become a bit lazy, or at least that's how it comes across as she has no performing skills. I think she should be heard and not seen. 


Song two is Satisfaction. We are led to believe that Rebecca is learning some choreography and 'performing' for this number in the VT, but what this translates to is her standing still waggling her finger with two overly-jiggly girls either side of her. As Twitter, the voice of reason, collectively agreed - she took the sex out of this song. How, I do not know, because this song oozes sexiness, but she did. Ruined. 




Katie Weasel
Oh, the victim is back. The new look just screams psychologically damaged model to me - a little Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted even (also, Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell - seriously, that bugs me) - and if we have to hear that this is the 'real Katie' one more time... *scream*. I think the judges have a script to read for Katie's comments, only Dannii doesn't play ball; Louis and Simon seem to be trying too hard (wonder where they got that from?) to promote her and make people think they love her. Sorry guys, it isn't working. Song one was Sex on Fire, which aside from nan-jokes was absolutely terrible. She doesn't have a big voice, she can't control it, she tried to get the audience to 'woop' with her while we all fought the urge to kick the TV, hard. Yet another Weasel fail.


Song two is Everybody Hurts, and now I think we all do thanks to that performance. As my flatmate quite rightly said, all these people should have to sing bad songs so that we don't get as cross. Nothing about her singing style or performance is natural - it is all try-hard and just too much effort for her. If she isn't out in the double elimination, then I don't think anyone is actually voting and it's all just a game of Who Simon Likes. 




Matt Cardle
YES! Matt is back with a bang this week (still no hat though). I feel better about the vest incident knowing that originally there was a jacket involved over the top. We can forgive him for this. First up he was singing I Love Rock n Roll, yet another Britney classic eh? If anyone else did this it would probably be awful but Matt can pull it off. I didn't like (quelle surprise) all the dancers around him with their legs in the air... what is Brian Friedman up to this year? Has he turned straight or something?


Secondly Matt sang Knights in White Satin which I'm sure I should have heard of and probably lose all rights to comment for not knowing it, right? Anyway, it was Matt at his very best. Guitar, stool, voice. This is what I would want to see if he did a tour, none of this swaggering around the stage malarky - it doesn't suit him. He's back in the game this week and I think he should win for that last note alone. He didn't look too well though did he?




Tesco Mary
I do not understand the hype for Mary - other than being a genuinely nice person, quite a rarity on X Factor, I do not see the appeal. To start off she sang All I Want Is You, which is yet another Louis fail. She was a little less shouty for this song, but that is the only plus I can find. Image wise, it's all wrong too - with the silver hoop earrings and too much gel in her hair she looks like someone out of Shameless. She looks so much younger with her hair down, so it's weird that they never style it that way for the live shows. 


Oh lord help us. Mary is going to move for song two. Though, hats off to her, she does a better job of it than Rebecca doesn't she? Take note Ferguson, if you want to take baby steps towards performing, this mum-dancing is a start. Singing Brass in Pocket, Mary is back to her shouty self while doing little side steps that anyone can imagine their mum or perhaps gran doing. Aww. It's almost worth staying awake for. 


One Direction
These cocky kids think their main competition is Matt and Rebecca, the best singers in the competition. Still, it's probably true. One Direction singing rock is like getting the Andrex puppy to bite, it just can't happen. Which is why they sang Summer of '69 oh-so-sweetly and continued on their pop boyband way. Just to make it clear, I cannot stand the one who constantly wears a scarf (the one in red). Not that I like any of them really, but he bugs me the most. It also didn't sound live to me for the chorus - hope Simon isn't cheating?


Later on they came back for the snoozefest that was You Are So Beautiful. Very clever of Simon to give them a ballad because he knows the teenage girls across the country will be kissing the screen with yukky underage lust. It bothered me that only three of them seemed to sing for this one, and never together - bit odd for a band but still, it's X Factor and this isn't even a rock song so who am I to question it...



I am very pleased that two acts will be out this week, and am hoping for Katie and Wagner to be out so that  we  can be put out of our misery. This is unlikely though. I'd like Mary to go next as I find her very dull, and predict a One Direction, Rebecca and Matt final three - assuming Wagner's social network support doesn't work. I'd actually be fairly happy for either One Direction or Matt to win - though Matt is clearly the best and should take the prize - as it would be good to see a band win it for once, and funny because it will make Westlife look even older than they already do. 

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The X Factor: Live Show 7 Review

Posted by Judy Johnson On Monday, 22 November 2010 22:43 2 comments
It's a little late this week because I was busy getting out of the house. Unheard of, I know. I then tried to explain to my non-X Factor-watching friend that the show is actually good and does produce good singers. Problem is, I played some of the videos to her and found my argument weakening as I was making excuses for all of their fairly average voices! The truth is, the standard for me has dropped considerably this year; even my favourites (Matt and Aiden, poor guy) aren't actually as amazing as I thought they were - it's just all relative in that they are better than the likes of Wagner who share their stage. 

This thought is a bit depressing and probably ruins it for everyone but hey ho, we get what we're given and this week the amateurs battle it out with some Beatles songs. Which sounds about as fun as listening to Westlife's one hundredth cover album...

Matt
Let's start with a little fact about me: I like a man in a vest. The Bruce Willis, Matt Damon, action man style vest that says 'I have good arms, I'm tough, and could save the world with my little finger'. They make me swoon a bit. OK, a lot. Now here's another fact. Matt should never wear a vest, ever. He is not a vest man. This was a bad, bad, baaaaad decision that should render the decision-maker unemployed. He looked terrible. He also came out and growled 'Come Together' like a drunken chav (the 'chav' part is likely down to the vest). I did wonder if he might be taking the mick because he saw that lovely Aiden was booted out, so he's thought 'sod it' I'll do something ridiculous to prove this show is rubbish (I am still clinging onto this theory with hope). This week also failed horribly because sexy little wiggler Olly Murs from X Factor past sang this song with so much sexual energy he probably impregnated half of England. I hate myself for saying it but Matt, you've lost me. Try and get me back next week and wear the goddamn hat. 

Rebecca
Rebecca fans, avert your eyes. This girl has a lovely voice but my god it needs work. She really needs to get herself to a vocal coach and learn a trick or two, because though the raw quality of it is sweet and treacle-like to listen to, the wobbles are too much and I still don't think that changing notes of Yesterday altogether makes for 'your stamp' on a song. (Judge notes - Dannii is spot on this week, if we can forget - please let's forget - the Matt performance we just witnessed). Rebecca is also wearing some sort of jumpsuit that I do not like and is drippy as ever. NEXT!


One Direction
This week the toddlers are standing on a block to make them look taller. Singing All You Need is Love is a bit weird for these boys because whereas Simon commended Rebecca for believing in the words she sings, these little ones probably don't know what love is and are therefore jumping around on their little building blocks and singing it with as much conviction as fish would. Loving Dannii's comments this week - losing Aiden has woken her up a little. Still, One Direction are probably going to do well because boybands are very 'in' this season, and they can hold a tune as much as any of the others. Westlife, watch your backs...

Cher
Cher is singing Imagine, badly. I've realised that the reason she sounds a bit odd is because she doesn't open her mouth properly when she sings so it comes out very strained while looking like her jaw is stuck. Possibly the most dull performance ever, as I was watching the whole thing wondering if she might topple off the stairs to liven it up a bit. That song is so beautiful, it deserves a Leona-esque voice to do it justice (or, of course, they could just leave it well alone). Dannii liked it. She's off my Christmas card list. Also, why was Cher dressed as a doll? Her weakest week yet by far.

Katie Weasel
There are no words to describe how gutted I was when for some insane reason, the public had saved Katie and not Aiden last week. Un-be-lievable. Literally, I do not believe that to be true. But anyway, the girl is still in, sadly, and singing Help. Funnily enough, Miss Weasel, dying your hair does not make you unrecognisable and therefore I still dislike you, very much. Katie is another one who does actually have a nice tone to her voice but it's not enough - some notes are off, some are just too wobbly, and her try-hard attitude is just so wearing. Plus, we get it already - stop singing songs that are about helping you and saving you - there's nothing less attractive than desperation. 

Wagner
Watching Wagner makes me miss Fame Academy, which despite its name had real songwriters and real singers hoping to do what they love and taking it seriously. What is hilarious though is when we watch him having conversations with Louis, who he clearly cannot understand and doesn't have the time of day for since the bumbling Irish idiot still can't pronounce his act's name. Wagner sings a medley, again - can you imagine his album? It's going to be HOURS long because every song will be a mental medley. I hope he does a Mr Blobby number combined with Everybody Wants to be a Cat, finished with I Will Always Love You. He's the king of bad medleys, he'll wing it. Also, hated Cheryl's little rant - that was completely unnecessary, and if we're not to believe the press in regards to her little witches Cher and Katie then why believe the press about Wagner? I don't know what the truth behind it is, but Simon and Cheryl have clearly decided it's his time to go (probably rightly so) but are going about it very cattily. Someone needs to get them de-clawed.


Paije
Favourite to go out this week based on that thing called the Internet, dear Paije probably felt defeated already - but his was my best performance tonight. Let it Be was a great song choice for the lovely Paije, and I think he may just be my favourite (out of him, Matt, and Aiden... no one else matters) simply because his vocals are strong, smooth and consistent, and there have been no vest incidents (though he does wear some questionable jackets). Do I sound like Simon? Anyway. I feel his square Gerald-from-Hey-Arnold-hair is unnecessary but apart from that, he should have been an outright choice to go through to the shows and not a wildcard - remember Nicolo? No. Paije, you are a legend. I would buy your album. 

Mary
Last week it worked because Mary has a heart, according to Simon. I'm more distracted by her lungs to be honest because Tesco Mary is a shouter. This is my only problem with her - she has a strong (loud) voice and could be good but for some of the lyrics she just speaks them, particularly at the end of a line. Still, it was better than the past couple of weeks and it can't be easy working with Louis, who has also picked up the shouting vibe. Perhaps they are both going deaf in their old age? Mary will be safe for a while because all the mums are voting... I have resigned myself to that. Sigh.


Bottom two - it should have been Wagner and either Cher or even (I'm so, so, sorry husband) Matt this week. Of course, I am writing this a little late so we know Paije got the boot - which we knew would happen given that he was up against Cher. I feel that choosing to sing Stay again was very lazy on Cher's part - perhaps she hadn't even bothered to rehearse a sing-off song as she's convinced she's too cool. Paije's performance was pretty shakey but you can't blame him for that, and I was sad that Louis didn't keep him given that he forced the others to see him again at auditions. I look forward to his album, a few years down the line...
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Friendship and the City

Posted by Judy Johnson On Monday, 15 November 2010 00:42 2 comments
Sex and the City is brilliant, but I think they got the title all wrong (though I suppose theirs is more catchy). I've always been lucky to have some great friends around me. But moving to London for uni was tough to start with, as while a lot of my friends went to the same unis together, I was off on my own to a grotty area of south London that looked like the set of Crimewatch.

Five years on and obviously, I made a bunch of bloody brilliant friends at uni and am keeping them for life (shhh, don't tell them). And I also kept hold of another brilliant bunch from home, because they weren't getting rid of me that easily. But during that five years, I finished uni, was thrown back into singledom and everything changed.

When you're in a relationship you become so reliant on that one person or at least the knowledge that they are there if you need them, that you can lose sight of your friends and the fact that they are very much there too (apart from when he does something wrong and you go running straight to your mates for a moan).

So when suddenly you become single, it takes a while to train yourself into realising that though he's not there anymore, there are people you can reach out to. I couldn't have got through my break up without my best friends who were always at the end of the phone, in the next room or reading essay-long Facebook messages about how much it hurt. This is no easy job if you're the listener, especially if you have a few friends who have got the blues at the same time - not to mention your own problems - but the age old saying that men will come and go while friends are for life (or something like that!) is definitely true. It just takes time to get used to texting your best mate first when you feel sad, or when you have news - instead of calling the guy who's been on speed dial for four years.

Non-singles find it harder to understand, and I say this based on being one, once upon a time. I know so many people now (myself included) who find 'coupley' couples REALLY annoying... and yes, those people are all single. As soon as you're with someone, you tend to forget what it was like to be single, the feeling you'd get when someone told you something about your ex that you didn't want to hear, and what it was like to feel the odd one out because everyone else is loved up. Instead, you flaunt your new-found romance, casually mention something about your mate's ex without thinking, and smooch in public while your mates sit there feeling uncomfortable/jealous/lonely. 

My friends and I had this chat after a few bottles of wine and decided that for those of us who are single, we were all we had - none of us felt able to chat to our families about how lonely we sometimes felt, and with no boy to give us a hug we now need each other more than ever. So, to those of you who are living in singlesville - make your friends your priority. There's a reason Carrie had her best friends around her at all times.  And those of you in relationships - don't forget what it was like to be alone. Your one single friend might be in a room with a whole bunch of you, but they could be feeling completely isolated at the same time. Now, even if I do grow up to be a spinster with cats, at least I'll know I have friends who will listen, don't have four legs and can use a phone...


Image from Jezebel.com
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The X Factor: Live Show 6 Review

Posted by Judy Johnson On Sunday, 14 November 2010 16:53 0 comments
Last week the judges failed us yet again and kept Katie Weasel in, sending home poor little Treyc who has no identity (which apparently isn't as good as being known because you're hated). This week, it's time for them to offend Elton John a little more by making him the theme - oh Simon, you really shouldn't have. No, really. I wasn't looking forward to this week (not the biggest Elton fan) and can't see how they're going to make this work. The judges' new buzz word is 'thread' too, which is still annoying. Here goes...

Paije
They're all excited about Harry Potter and Paije was an extra in one of the films. I wouldn't know because I can't stand HP and haven't seen a single one, sorry Paije. You were probably the best thing in it. After last week's very good upbeat number, they've kept with it and given him Crocodile Rock to sing.  The judges hated it. I didn't really enjoy it either - he was singing about some girl called Susie and it all felt a little children's entertainment to me, but it's Paije and I like him. Plus, the 'you focus on your other acts' comment from the judges is getting boring... new criticism please?

Aiden
I can't help it, I love Aiden. He does a little nose-wrinkle thing which is unbelievably cute. Sorry, anyway... our little intense performer was on top of two pianos (tick) singing Rocket Man (er... tick??). I don't know the song too well but he seemed to nail it, and Simon was right about him having 'presence' (though he should NEVER say 'swagger' again) - he completely commands the stage and draws you in. Tick. Hopefully enough to keep him in - I do worry that other Cheryl-type muppets won't get him.

Mary
Tesco Mary was terrible last week. In my opinion she's not been that great since forever but people still seem to love her - it's SuBo all over again. Singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight was a mistake because it was a total snoozefest. I'm surprised the overly noisy audience didn't deafen us with a collective snore. Then again, it's hard to sleep when that racket is going on. Mary is one of those singers who is a bit too shouty and a bit too plain. Also, Dannii may not be the best singer in the world but she knows when something is in tune, so pipe down Louis. Meanwhile Simon said it worked because she has a heart, which to me is like saying you fancy someone because they are breathing, no?

Katie Weasel
It wasn't a bad dream, she really is still here. And she sang Saturday Night, which I'm sure thrilled Treyc wherever she is. I'll give her one thing - she looked better tonight, as she looked more like the (annoying) girl we met in the first audition, at which point I thought she was going to do a Madonna tribute act but at least she had a 'look'. Though I think they are probably just trying to get us to like her by making her seem down to earth. It's not going to work thanks to the media attention and the fact she can't sing though, so she may as well be voted off now.  Please?

Matt Cardle
Sigh. He forgot to put the hat on again. My patience is running out a little on that one. He better wear it when he wins in the final or else there'll be trouble. Matt sang a lovely song that I haven't heard of (told you I'm not a fan) and, assuming that's the tune, he did a pretty damn amazing job. After last week he could sing Postman Pat and I'd still love him but he really does perform like someone who has been in the industry for a while. I would quite like him to do a song with less long, drawn out notes though - what with that and the barmy audience it can be a bit much sometimes.

Cher
Obviously Cher is special and couldn't possibly just sing one Elton John song, so they mixed it up in what is to be known the series of mash-up mania. The singing bit wasn't bad - apart from the close-up that reveals just how much makeup is plastered on her face. Seriously, this girl does not look 17 and will probably be on Botox by next year. I also dislike the facial expressions (all two of them) that she insists on doing as she sings - either she is scowling or she's trying to look sincere, but actually looks like she's spotted an audience member she wants to beat up. Simon reckons she isn't cocky so obviously wasn't paying attention to the VT where she yet again talked about winning the show. Humble as a mouse, this one. 

Wagner
He's still trying and Louis still can't pronounce his name. The irony wasn't lost on us that he sang I'm Still Standing, and then of course he had to make it a medley (he is Louis' act after all) with Circle of Life. Yes, I know that one, it's Disney. I'm not sure what was supposed to be happening behind him at this point because when I wasn't distracted by the awful singing, I was distracted by the terrible dancers that were grinding around him, but I think some woman was being lifted up in a hammock. I feel very sorry for Wagner these days and love that he grins through all the bad comments as if he's happier than ever. Maybe he is?

One Direction
If you don't already, you have GOT to be on Twitter when One Direction sing, if for no one else. Wand Erection as they are known by tweeps were busy drooling over Emma Watson this week and then chose a ballad complete with microphone stands to 'prove they can sing'. I have issues with these boys. Firstly, they are actual boys. None of them look a day over 12, and who wants to see 12 year olds sing? Not me. Curly is cocky but does have a lovely voice, Lee Ryan 2 looks like he's going to cry when it's not his turn to sing, and the one with what could be a growing-out bowl cut has the most annoying face that I can't get over it. No Simon, I don't think they will win... 

Rebecca
Rebecca is pretending she's concerned she might mess it up in the VT, which we all know is rubbish because no one has disliked her yet. Candle in the Wind is a very touching song so I guess they had to give it to someone who wouldn't ruin it. So why not give it to Matt? Sorry Rebecca but I don't think changing the tune is the same as making it your own. I do however like that she looks so classy, and then speaks and completely isn't. I know everyone loves her but she still has no oomph. Someone give her a red bull or something. 


Bottom two suggestions? I'd like to point out I was right last week, ahem, clap clap. I think time may be up for Wagner and Katie but that would be in a world where stuff makes sense - not X Factor. We shall see...

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X Factor: Live Show 5

Posted by Judy Johnson On Sunday, 7 November 2010 14:21 0 comments

Oh, what's the point? That seemed to be the feeling among a lot of the contestants last night as the fifth live show limped off to a terrible start, beginning the night as the most underwhelming show since Flashforward. It was like being back at week one again in terms of talent only without the excitement. Despite the grim faces, everyone kept saying 'I'm having the time of my life' tonight, so I assume they watched Dirty Dancing during the week for cheesy pointers. My highlight was (apart from Matt) when Wagner thanked the judges for being there as if they were doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. Bless you Wagner.

Cher Lloyd
ASBO girl is back! We heard she was going to kill - sorry - sing Empire State of Mind before last night but I have to say I expected more. They dressed her in something a twelve year old girl from Peckham might wear and sat her on top of a piano where she looked very uncomfortable, probably because the notes were a bit off and a bit too long for her. She seems more confident when she raps and others are on stage but all in all, I agreed with Simon - after last week, this was rubbish.

Tesco Mary

It had to happen sometime. Mary started by saying she's done 'pubs, clubs, dumps' - all right Mary, no need to go that far. Then she came on and tried to sing There You'll Be and it was terrible. It didn't suit her voice at all, the notes seemed flat and she sounded bored to tears (or perhaps just petrified at knowing how bad it sounded). I swear she even spoke a bit of it, rather than sang. Louis was seen clapping like a complete fruitcake while Mary looked like she was going to crumble on stage. Also, how annoying are the audience?

Katie Weasel
As if we haven't been punished enough already, it's Katie's turn next. And she's going to murder, with her bare vocal chords, one of my favourite songs:
Don't Speak by No Doubt. I assume this is based on the weak comment Simon made that she sounds like Gwen Stefani (she doesn't, and poor Gwen probably swore never to sing again after that comparison). We had to watch an awful video of her trying to act in the background, while on stage she looked, again, like a lost sheep whose head hadn't been sheared yet (the hair was bad). She was dressed like sexy Sandra Dee pulled through a bush backwards, and her husky-voice card can only be played so many times. She was also cocky enough to talk back to Simon, who then said she's not a whinger. Errrrm...

Aiden

Thank goodness for Aiden, I was beginning to lose the will to live. Lovely, intense, slightly scary but still hot Aiden came out next and sang Nothing Compares To You - an awesome song and he did it justice. They'd obviously told him to smile more because he kept throwing in a little grin, which was sweet but a bit weird for the song - but his vocal was amazing. Not sure why they felt the need to engulf him with flames halfway through the song though. Chezza has changed her mind after seeing that, actually, everyone loves him, and says 'she accepts' that the intense thing is 'his' thing. How gracious. And we accept that the try-hard ghetto Barbie thing is your thing, Cheryl. Carry on, won't you.

Paije

The show just gets better with Paije up next - maybe this was a smart move after all. Bore us at the beginning, let us get our dinner, then complete the show with all the goodies. Paije is so underestimated in this competition - he is consistent in his vocals and always performs well, and he's even sorted his clothes out and has a decent image. Singing
I'm a Believer and Hey Ya (mash ups are just so 2010), he kicked some energy into the show and even did a little Olly Murs wiggle. Love him.

Rebecca
So, I think they put Paije on before Rebecca as a little caffeine boost to keep us going. Her voice is so. slow. I. can't. stay. awake. If they could just put what Paije has in a bottle and forcefeed it to Rebecca, we'd be OK. Anyway, Rebecca's American anthem is Make You Feel My Love which is a very sweet song but it makes me snooze. Plus, wasn't it overdone in bootcamp or did I just watch too many repeats? I don't dislike Rebecca - she's my kind of singer, but I need more from my music than a voice. Wake me up when she's putting some oomph into it.

Wagner
Poor Wagner is complaining to Louis that he doesn't pronounce his name properly and Louis just looks at him blankly then carries on. What a good start.
Viva Las Vegas is the song of choice for Wagner tonight, not that it really matters. We all know what to expect by now. Bad styling, half naked women and out of tune singing... yes, that'll be Wagner. I still feel sorry for him and I thought Cheryl's whiney 'what can I say' moment was very rude. Meanwhile Simon liked it, much like when he changed his tune for Jedward, so we know it's not the end. Shame...

Matt

I believe I applaused at the television when this was on last night. Matt has now got star status after nailing
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, a very high pitched, slow song which deserved the Matt treatment as he has the perfect range for it. He really looks like he means it when he's singing (probably because he is singing it to me) and everyone was standing for him by the time he'd finished. Tiny details - his trousers were weird and the hat is still missing. Is anyone actually looking for it?

Treyc

Treyc thinks it doesn't matter if she has an image, she just knows she can sing and that's enough. Treyc is wrong - otherwise why would Cher be there? Singing
Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith, another favourite of mine, Treyc didn't do that great this week. The judges said it was flawless as a vocal but I thought it was slightly off in places and weaker than her usual performances. She did look stunning though so her image from now on should maybe be ballgown and ballads... Leona, look out! Sadly I think that's the path she's on, so my hope of her forming a feisty girl band isn't going to happen. Also, Simon said something about wanting a lion to bite you and not lick you... that was awkward.

One Direction

For some reason we were subjected to at least one of them wearing only boxer shorts in the VT... urgh. The cocky sods also reiterated that they want to win. Well, tough shizzle little boys because you can't. Can they? God I hope not. Singing Kids in America, badly, the Justin Bieber quintet prowled around the stage and all bent down a lot at the same time, kind of like they had synchronised stomach cramps. How the judges haven't noticed they can't sing is beyond me. Simon did look like a proud dad at the end though, which was quite cute. Until he said they were like sunshine on a beautiful day and we all threw up.


Who's out tonight? Based on the show it should be Mary, Katie or Wagner, but I think it will be Katie and Treyc in the bottom two - sorry Traik, but the image is fairly important. Though if that happens, Cruella de Vil should be evicted, obviously...
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