Things I've learned from online dating

Posted by Judy Johnson On Wednesday, 18 July 2012 22:34 1 comments
This is the ad that made me join a different site
Yes, I'm giving it a second chance. Last time I went online I basically hid from anyone who said hello and deemed them all to be nutters, quickly closing my profile as soon as someone asked me out. Let's just say I wasn't ready. 

This time, I'm actually starting to enjoy it, and might even have a date lined up - no promises - but the best bit so far has been the funny stuff. I'm not going to be too mean about profiles (I'm sure mine's terrible), but I have learned a thing or two from the few odd messages and people I have come across, so I thought they were worth sharing. I'm helpful like that...

1. Lots of men either a) don't know how old they are b) could really do with some hair dye and Botox or c) lie about their age. There is no way a 30 year old can look that old, surely?

2. There is such a thing as a bat charity. Who knew? There might even be more than one. All I know is that a man works there. He looks scary and messages girls who aren't interested (me). We shall call him Batman. Not so much a Black Knight in shining armour as a daylight-dodging creep.

3. There are a lot of single men out there who think that being active and going skiing once a year makes them adventurous and cultured. They even try to make their usernames sound adventurous, like ActiveJoe or MountainBoy.

4. The same men think that sitting down is bad and boring, even if it involves watching a good film or reading. If they're not sliding around on snow, or skateboarding, or running a marathon, they're not even living. Us indoor types should be ashamed. 

5. Some men can't read, and so even if you specifically say that height is important, they will still email you despite being five inches shorter than you.

6. Men often have one message that they copy and paste to different girls (yes, this actually happened - Facebook reveals all). It is generally a bit of a creepy one.

7. Men, for their profile picture, either put one of a) looking to the left/upwards in a thoughtful, super cool manner b) pulling a goofy face that is in no way flattering or c) one that could easily be a passport photo (and we all know those never look good). They then add gallery pictures which look like a completely different person, usually in a group of friends or with a pretty girl who you instantly think is their (hopefully ex) girlfriend. Cynic, me?

8. Men only want to meet confident, pretty, outgoing, super positive glass-half-full girls. Therefore they will probably wind up disappointed, because this is the real world and you can't smile 24/7, it gives you jaw-ache. 

9. It is a bloody small world. No matter how wide, or how narrow, you cast your little net, there is a very good chance someone from your hometown will message you, or you'll browse and discover someone you know from Twitter. Hopefully by accident though, otherwise that's just creepy (and a total waste of money). 

10. Online dating is just like offline dating. There's game playing, a sudden lack of interest for no apparent reason when you're mid-conversation and you'll always get chatted up by the odd weirdo. 

Still, I'm really quite enjoying it.

Men, are women just as bad when it comes to dating profiles? Anyone had any odd messages lately?  Tell me I'm not alone...
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