If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends...

Posted by Judy Johnson On Thursday, 29 August 2013 22:01 0 comments
OK, that's the cheesiest title I've ever written but when else can you quote Spice Girls? Not often enough, if you ask me... 

Anyway. I've always said that not only can you judge a guy by his friends, but that my friends would have to like anyone I see too, and it seems I'm not on my own; a recent survey by dating site My Single Friend revealed 86% of us think it's important our mates get on with our dates. 

With that in mind, MSF are taking the idea offline with their new events, 'Date My Single Friend' which allow singles to take along a wingman to a speed dating-like night out. Instead of awkward one-on-one conversations, two pairs of friends are at each table and so your mate can help you find Mr or Mrs Right. 

As someone who loathes dates (it's not so much butterflies, more oh-god-I-might-puke) this is music to my ears and, I think, a great idea. The thought of sitting with three other people, one of which you're finding out if you like, is not scary, not intimidating and pretty much sounds like a (successful) night down the pub. I'm sold. 

So, a couple of months after I swore off online dating, I've now cautiously headed back to the first site I ever tried for online dating: MSF. 

The concept of the site makes sense and actually is different from the rest; you can't have a profile until a friend describes you, and this description sits on your profile alongside your response. It's a nice idea because it's pretty hard to sell yourself to potential dates whereas good friends, I've found, are more than happy to do it for you (and it's really weird to see yourself through their eyes). Plus, when reading up on the men on there, it's really interesting to see what their mates say compared to what they say about themselves (sidenote: any guy who then just writes 'Cheers' on their profile is a muppet). 

So far, so not sure - there seem to be a LOT of men on there compared to the sites I was on before but I've only had one or two odd-sounding guys contact me and haven't paid up as yet to see what the message says (why bother unless I like their profile...?). We'll see - but I'm interested, which is more than can be said for last time...

Keep an eye out for the Date My Single Friend events - dates TBC


Babies: a woman's right to choose...

Posted by Judy Johnson On Tuesday, 20 August 2013 14:10 1 comments
Today I watched two women sit with Kate Garraway to debate whether it was selfish for a woman to choose not to have children. Apparently having your own life that doesn't involve squeezing out some sprogs and wiping up after them for 18 years is something to be ashamed of. 

It amazes me that this is even a question in today's society. Just as with the question of 'should gay people be allowed to marry' and such like, I don't understand why we care quite so much about other people's choices. So long as their choices aren't, say, to murder someone, then why do we need to debate it? I don't know about you but I'm far too busy getting through my own life to worry about whether a woman has six kids or jet sets around the world on her tod (and personally, I know which one would be more annoying on an aeroplane).

I think Daybreak (and others) needs to wake up and smell 2013. In my generation choice is the order of the day - thank god. Call it feminism, call it whatever you like but the point is women can almost do what they like these days - they just can't seem to do it without judgement. Have a baby too old, you're deemed selfish. Have one too young and you're immature and probably scrounging off benefits. Don't have one at all and you get the pity head tilt and idiots on Daybreak whose only argument for saying you simply must have kids or else miss out is because 'It's just an amazing experience'. 

Well you know what? People say that about skydiving. People say it about holding a tarantula. People say it about eating a spicy curry. Not everyone likes to do those and nor should they have to just to make society shut up and think they're a good, well rounded person who has lived their life to the full. People are fulfilled by different things and having kids shouldn't have to be an opt-out option. 

I probably sound like I am one of the children-hating (because clearly if you don't have children or want them in your future, you MUST have evil witch-like thoughts towards them) independent women that society so fears. Actually, I'm not sure what I am yet. The thought of kids neither appeals to nor disgusts me but I know for certain I'm not ready for them and am also somewhat missing one of the ingredients considering I'm single, so this works out rather well. Unless you take society's view that is, in which case I might never experience life to the full if I choose the wrong option. Society, frankly, should mind its own business. 

Twitter: where is the love?

Posted by Judy Johnson On Wednesday, 7 August 2013 21:46 0 comments
Pic from http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/ 
We all know I am a self-confessed Twitter addict. It's the first thing I check in the morning, the last thing I look at before bedtime, it's where I go when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I can't sleep, when I need to SHOUT SOMETHING IN CAPITALS to vent frustration. But recently it's turned into some kind of playground where anyone who's anyone is looking for a fight.

And when I say playground I mean full on, bitchy little kids' playground. Like primary school stuff. Attention seeking, bickering and - much worse - bullying; not to mention the far more serious and vile threatening behaviour that led to the police getting involved. Let's not go there.

It's not that this stuff shouldn't be talked about. It's not that this stuff shouldn't get us #ShoutingBack and shutting down those 'trolls' (worst term ever, trivialises the whole thing… sigh) when they act up but can we please, maybe, at some point, give it a rest? Every day it feels like someone's got their pitchfork ready to do battle and is just waiting for something to leap on. Anybody mention feminism? YELL AT THEM. Someone mention interns? YELL AT THEM. Journalist say the word 'blog'? YELL AT THEM. Someone say they like the Blurred Lines song? YELL AT THEM. And repeat. This is what Twitter's like at the moment and it's really bloody boring. Enough of the drama. Drama is for Facebook.

So instead, I've devised a list of the stuff we should go back to that Twitter is good at:

  • LOL cats
  • Louis Walsh jokes (at him, not with him)
  • Tranzizzling shizzle on Gizoogle and sharing dem crazy ass shizzle
  • Telling Katie Hopkins to shut up, Holly Willoughby style
  • Praising Willoughby's boobs in that dress
  • More cats
  • Cats dressed as sharks on hoovers
  • Drunk tweeting emotional rubbish 
  • Telling commuters how to commute like a good commuter, just like you
  • Asking inane questions that Google was actually built for 
  • Posting photos of meals you didn't even make yourself
  • Friends quotes
  • Tweeting through <insert any TV programme here> and spoiling it for anyone who's planning on watching on +1
  • Retweeting a picture of Kate Middleton holding a baby just in case the other million RTs didn't get through
  • Ripping X Factor contestants to shreds (metaphorically speaking, obviously) then doing it all again a week later
  • Complaining about the Daily Mail
  • Breaking news that's already been broken a gazillion times

I could go on. Twitter used to be a happy place full of distraction and fun and in-jokes against those people who think Facebook is the best thing on the internet and that selfies are what Instagram was built for. We need to get back to that brilliant, sarcastic, hilarious place that Twitter used to be.

Until then, I'll rely on Tweetdeck and my list of 'friends' aka 'nice people who don't argue with power users and always make me laugh' to keep me sane. 

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