A Very Late X Factor Final Post...

Posted by spriglet On Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:36
Image from X Factor.com
OK I know it's now the following year and we're all talking about...er... Eastenders? But I did rather enjoy the X Factor blog posts and actually felt quite terrible for not doing a final one. It's not fair on Matt, really. He deserves a send off. I do have lots of valid excuses for not having done it before now but nobody wants to hear those, so here it is. 

I spent the entire final on Twitter, with some frickin' fantastic fellow Twits who had me giggling away throughout (when I wasn't already laughing at the awful judges' comments). So, as an ode to Twitter and its utter brilliance, my final post will be based on my tweets during the show...

 Tweet tweet: Since when can That One sing? #xfactor #takethat

Ahh yes, remember Take That? 'Course you do, they've been on every channel and every programme possible, sometimes at the same time, since Robbie rejoined the slightly-too-old-to-be-called-a-boyband boyband. They cropped up again on X Factor to promote their new single (again), and weirdly, one of them which isn't Gary or Robbie or Mark actually sang a little on his own. I think it was Howard. I think he's the new favourite. Howard to win! Oh...

 Tweet tweet: Matt probably wants to kill himself at this point. Boyband-a-rama #xfactor

Matt, One Direction and Rebecca started off Never Forget (badly) only to be then joined by Take That, and poor Matt looked like he was meant to be on Top of the Pops but had wandered onto the wrong stage. Bless him. 


Tweet tweet: HA! Rebecca can't even clap #stillcantmoveproperly #xfactor

Brian obviously didn't train Rebecca up in the art of clapping for the last chorus of Never Forget... she even stood still when they brought in the sidestep, looking at Matt in desperation. 

Tweet tweet: Cringe - Matt and Rihanna #xfactor

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Matt. I just don't enjoy him being eaten alive (or as good as) by another woman. I adore Rihanna, but I got the impression she really couldn't give a damn about Matt. This was not rehearsed enough, if at all. The song didn't suit him at all and the touching... well. It was awkward.

Tweet tweet: Bet they struggled to find a clip where Rebecca actually sang with Xtina #xfactor

From one bad duet to another - what was the point in putting shy, quiet Rebecca with loud, stage-owning Christina Aguilera? Who knows. It didn't work. 

Tweet tweet: Wow. Louis is so clueless he is now just quoting lyrics #xfactor 

I'm sad to say I don't remember exactly what Louis said, but it was something like 'I will always love you' and made me giggle. Dear Louis. I wonder if he will be there next year...

Tweet tweet: It's the final, and the HAT IS STILL MISSING *sulks* #xfactor

Matt didn't wear the hat. Frankly, I am surprised he managed to win without it. I haven't forgiven him yet. 

Tweet tweet: Stacey to win! Oh... #xfactor

The lovely Stacey Solomon was talking to Essex boy Matt's neighbours. Well, I say talking, more shrilling. Still, I miss her gorgeous singing voice, ballads while wearing long dresses that I want and her down to earth nature. There hasn't really been any of that this year - Rebecca doesn't count for me, she hasn't got the wow factor.

Tweet tweet: Love that they are so small they need a platform. They are probably only two foot tall #xfactor

Obviously, One Direction. Nuff said. 

Tweet tweet: One of them is struggling with the clap and microphone combo *giggles*

Thank the lord Rebecca isn't in the band... can you imagine the choreography issues?

Tweet tweet: Louis is just there for the drinks really isn't he #xfactor

I guess they had to ask Louis what he thought every so often just to get an impartial view... but then, he's pretty much always impartial isn't he, since he loves everybody. Here he says they have 'five new pop stars'. Insightful. 

Tweet tweet: You just know One Direction will be advertising Nintendo DS soon. Or Toys R Us #xfactor

I tweeted about the little twerps a lot... What can I say, they just invite these kind of jokes. Would put money on this, too. 

Tweet tweet: They should have put Wagner in with this lot, he'd sound good #xfactor

Reject time! The most awkward part of the show. Oh hang on, that was when Rihanna had her hands on Matt. Never mind. The worst to watch was definitely little miss punchy, who we've all seen far too much of already...

Tweet tweet: This is the B-side, yes? #xfactor

I wasn't all that impressed with Matt's song to start with. Perhaps it's a grower. 

Tweet tweet: SEE! Hat = good vocals. Suit = not so much. The hat should have been here for the final #xfactor

After they did the 'here's what he sang earlier' tape, the power of the hat was revealed. 

Tweet tweet: Wow. This is underwhelming #xfactor

Seriously, Rebecca could have tried a little bit harder on this one. A finger-wiggle, or something...

Tweet tweet: Bet One Direction's song was Reach by S Club or something. Rebecca voters, BE SORRY #xfactor

And the award for the song to die to, slowly,and painfully, goes to... this performance. Really wishing the toddlers had got through at this point. 

Tweet tweet: If I was on X Factor, they'd have to go to little Lindfield and raid the old people's homes since locals are all over 90 #xfactor

Don't you just love it when they send some unknown celebrity to get mobbed by the contestant's local neighbourhood? Given that Wagner did OK, I figure I could get to the final. Residents of little Lindfield village, watch out. They'd have to interview the swans, too.

Tweet tweet: Robbie might as well be a judge, he's on screen more than Louis #xfactor

Robbie was back again. I think he'd make a great judge, he'd get up and sing with them. 

Tweet tweet: LOOKING AT FLOOR STILL

Still, even as Dermot is about to announce the winner, Rebecca could not look up. Sack Brian Friedman, someone...


Tweet tweet: I think he should have ripped the jacket off to reveal a vest when it was announced #xfactor 

Yes, this refers to Matt's infamous vest moment. Admit it, you enjoyed it too. 


And so another series of the X Factor is over. Not too sure how I feel about the 2010 show... since it finished, the only contestant I've really remembered is Cher because she really impressed on her final performances and she did so many catchy, recent songs that I keep seeing her in my head when I hear singles like Love the Way You Lie. Still, it's better than picturing Katie Weasel's gran, who was on Daybreak last week discussing her 'escort' services. See you next series...


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