Why My Life Will Never Be a Rom-Com...

Posted by Judy Johnson On Sunday, 17 April 2011 17:21
I love romantic comedies. They continue along Disney's path of lulling us into a false sense of reality, making us think that some day, we'll all meet Mr or Mrs Perfect, Prince or Princess Charming, and all will be wonderful and happy-ever-after-ish. Sometimes it's what you need, whether it's to pretend Matthew McConaughey is going to knock on your door one day or simply to perv over Angelina Jolie. A good rom-com can cheer you up, inspire you to write, help you to remember the happy times with an ex, or simply give you an excuse not to do the laundry you've been putting off. 

But the problem with these Hollywood smile-filled, tear-jerking, emotional-soundtrack-having films is that life doesn't quite work like that, which is disappointing. After watching Serendipity last night (not bad, cute concept) which has some gorgeous scenes in it, I got to thinking about why my life will never resemble a rom-com (as much as I wish it would)...

1. I can not - no, WILL not - ice skate
Ever noticed how many films feature an ice rink? Usually it's at night, snowing, with glowing lights illuminating the rosy-cheeked faces of the merry couple. This would not happen in my life. Any attempt for me to even stand on ice is like a reenactment of Bambi taking his first steps on it and having tried it twice I refuse to ever try again, let alone with someone I'm trying to impress. Romance needs a romantic setting - unfortunately, for me it also has to be on dry, non-slippery land.

2. I don't do heels
Whether it's Cinderella's glass slipper tactic or the shot that makes you think 'wow' of the woman in a show-stopping dress and high heels, it isn't going to happen for me. I'm too tall to wear heels for a start, but more importantly I a) can't stand having painful feet and b) can't stand in the damn things (in fact, it's quite similar to previous Bambi comment). The best I can manage is sparkly flip flops. Not quite the same, is it?

3. I look rubbish in the day time
There's a bit of a trend with, oh, everyone I meet - they always comment that I look like a different person as soon as the glasses are off, the contact lenses are in and I've sorted my face out (as I call it, they're not that rude) for night time fun. I make effort in the mornings - I won't leave the house without makeup, do what I can with my crappy hair and dress pretty well - but I am basically invisible as my daytime self. It may be the glasses, it's definitely the hair (I should have been born with curly hair. I wasn't. It upsets me), but whatever it is, I'm not going to spontaneously get noticed by the man of my dreams while shopping in Tesco. Unless he's really desperate.

All this aside, I have had my romantic (and comedic) moments; from emotional chats in the pouring rain to candlelit nights in. And when I walk along the street with my MP3 player on, I like to imagine it's my life soundtrack and everyone else can hear it too. I just wish Matt Damon was my co-star...     

2 Response to " Why My Life Will Never Be a Rom-Com... "

  1. Emma Said,

    I totally do the soundtrack thing with my iPod too.

    The thing is, if those 'romantic' things like ice skating etc actually happened, they'd either be embarrassingly cringy or disappointing in comparison. Much better to invent your own romantic moments!

    p.s 3) is rubbish, you always look fabulous when we meet up. A full face of make up in the day would look a bit odd anyway :)


  2. LV Said,

    I love a soudtrack of life! lol I totally disagree that you would look rubbish in the day time - that did make me giggle!! you are lovely x


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