Sex and the City is brilliant, but I think they got the title all wrong (though I suppose theirs is more catchy). I've always been lucky to have some great friends around me. But moving to London for uni was tough to start with, as while a lot of my friends went to the same unis together, I was off on my own to a grotty area of south London that looked like the set of Crimewatch.

Five years on and obviously, I made a bunch of bloody brilliant friends at uni and am keeping them for life (shhh, don't tell them). And I also kept hold of another brilliant bunch from home, because they weren't getting rid of me that easily. But during that five years, I finished uni, was thrown back into singledom and everything changed.

When you're in a relationship you become so reliant on that one person or at least the knowledge that they are there if you need them, that you can lose sight of your friends and the fact that they are very much there too (apart from when he does something wrong and you go running straight to your mates for a moan).

So when suddenly you become single, it takes a while to train yourself into realising that though he's not there anymore, there are people you can reach out to. I couldn't have got through my break up without my best friends who were always at the end of the phone, in the next room or reading essay-long Facebook messages about how much it hurt. This is no easy job if you're the listener, especially if you have a few friends who have got the blues at the same time - not to mention your own problems - but the age old saying that men will come and go while friends are for life (or something like that!) is definitely true. It just takes time to get used to texting your best mate first when you feel sad, or when you have news - instead of calling the guy who's been on speed dial for four years.

Non-singles find it harder to understand, and I say this based on being one, once upon a time. I know so many people now (myself included) who find 'coupley' couples REALLY annoying... and yes, those people are all single. As soon as you're with someone, you tend to forget what it was like to be single, the feeling you'd get when someone told you something about your ex that you didn't want to hear, and what it was like to feel the odd one out because everyone else is loved up. Instead, you flaunt your new-found romance, casually mention something about your mate's ex without thinking, and smooch in public while your mates sit there feeling uncomfortable/jealous/lonely. 

My friends and I had this chat after a few bottles of wine and decided that for those of us who are single, we were all we had - none of us felt able to chat to our families about how lonely we sometimes felt, and with no boy to give us a hug we now need each other more than ever. So, to those of you who are living in singlesville - make your friends your priority. There's a reason Carrie had her best friends around her at all times.  And those of you in relationships - don't forget what it was like to be alone. Your one single friend might be in a room with a whole bunch of you, but they could be feeling completely isolated at the same time. Now, even if I do grow up to be a spinster with cats, at least I'll know I have friends who will listen, don't have four legs and can use a phone...

Last week the judges failed us yet again and kept Katie Weasel in, sending home poor little Treyc who has no identity (which apparently isn't as good as being known because you're hated). This week, it's time for them to offend Elton John a little more by making him the theme - oh Simon, you really shouldn't have. No, really. I wasn't looking forward to this week (not the biggest Elton fan) and can't see how they're going to make this work. The judges' new buzz word is 'thread' too, which is still annoying. Here goes...

They're all excited about Harry Potter and Paije was an extra in one of the films. I wouldn't know because I can't stand HP and haven't seen a single one, sorry Paije. You were probably the best thing in it. After last week's very good upbeat number, they've kept with it and given him Crocodile Rock to sing.  The judges hated it. I didn't really enjoy it either - he was singing about some girl called Susie and it all felt a little children's entertainment to me, but it's Paije and I like him. Plus, the 'you focus on your other acts' comment from the judges is getting boring... new criticism please?

I can't help it, I love Aiden. He does a little nose-wrinkle thing which is unbelievably cute. Sorry, anyway... our little intense performer was on top of two pianos (tick) singing Rocket Man (er... tick??). I don't know the song too well but he seemed to nail it, and Simon was right about him having 'presence' (though he should NEVER say 'swagger' again) - he completely commands the stage and draws you in. Tick. Hopefully enough to keep him in - I do worry that other Cheryl-type muppets won't get him.

Tesco Mary was terrible last week. In my opinion she's not been that great since forever but people still seem to love her - it's SuBo all over again. Singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight was a mistake because it was a total snoozefest. I'm surprised the overly noisy audience didn't deafen us with a collective snore. Then again, it's hard to sleep when that racket is going on. Mary is one of those singers who is a bit too shouty and a bit too plain. Also, Dannii may not be the best singer in the world but she knows when something is in tune, so pipe down Louis. Meanwhile Simon said it worked because she has a heart, which to me is like saying you fancy someone because they are breathing, no?

It wasn't a bad dream, she really is still here. And she sang Saturday Night, which I'm sure thrilled Treyc wherever she is. I'll give her one thing - she looked better tonight, as she looked more like the (annoying) girl we met in the first audition, at which point I thought she was going to do a Madonna tribute act but at least she had a 'look'. Though I think they are probably just trying to get us to like her by making her seem down to earth. It's not going to work thanks to the media attention and the fact she can't sing though, so she may as well be voted off now.  Please?

Sigh. He forgot to put the hat on again. My patience is running out a little on that one. He better wear it when he wins in the final or else there'll be trouble. Matt sang a lovely song that I haven't heard of (told you I'm not a fan) and, assuming that's the tune, he did a pretty damn amazing job. After last week he could sing Postman Pat and I'd still love him but he really does perform like someone who has been in the industry for a while. I would quite like him to do a song with less long, drawn out notes though - what with that and the barmy audience it can be a bit much sometimes.

Obviously Cher is special and couldn't possibly just sing one Elton John song, so they mixed it up in what is to be known the series of mash-up mania. The singing bit wasn't bad - apart from the close-up that reveals just how much makeup is plastered on her face. Seriously, this girl does not look 17 and will probably be on Botox by next year. I also dislike the facial expressions (all two of them) that she insists on doing as she sings - either she is scowling or she's trying to look sincere, but actually looks like she's spotted an audience member she wants to beat up. Simon reckons she isn't cocky so obviously wasn't paying attention to the VT where she yet again talked about winning the show. Humble as a mouse, this one. 

He's still trying and Louis still can't pronounce his name. The irony wasn't lost on us that he sang I'm Still Standing, and then of course he had to make it a medley (he is Louis' act after all) with Circle of Life. Yes, I know that one, it's Disney. I'm not sure what was supposed to be happening behind him at this point because when I wasn't distracted by the awful singing, I was distracted by the terrible dancers that were grinding around him, but I think some woman was being lifted up in a hammock. I feel very sorry for Wagner these days and love that he grins through all the bad comments as if he's happier than ever. Maybe he is?

If you don't already, you have GOT to be on Twitter when One Direction sing, if for no one else. Wand Erection as they are known by tweeps were busy drooling over Emma Watson this week and then chose a ballad complete with microphone stands to 'prove they can sing'. I have issues with these boys. Firstly, they are actual boys. None of them look a day over 12, and who wants to see 12 year olds sing? Not me. Curly is cocky but does have a lovely voice, Lee Ryan 2 looks like he's going to cry when it's not his turn to sing, and the one with what could be a growing-out bowl cut has the most annoying face that I can't get over it. No Simon, I don't think they will win... 

Rebecca is pretending she's concerned she might mess it up in the VT, which we all know is rubbish because no one has disliked her yet. Candle in the Wind is a very touching song so I guess they had to give it to someone who wouldn't ruin it. So why not give it to Matt? Sorry Rebecca but I don't think changing the tune is the same as making it your own. I do however like that she looks so classy, and then speaks and completely isn't. I know everyone loves her but she still has no oomph. Someone give her a red bull or something. 

Bottom two suggestions? I'd like to point out I was right last week, ahem, clap clap. I think time may be up for Wagner and Katie but that would be in a world where stuff makes sense - not X Factor. We shall see...

Oh god, it's Halloween. You know what that means. A lot of fake lashes, bad makeup and bad songs where being scary is an excuse for being bad...

Tesco Mary

Could it be magic? No, probably not. Louis' idea of updating Mary to the 21st century is giving her a very old Take That song (not that it's not awesome - based on the video alone), but she still shouts it out as if she's on a theatre stage. Also, her dress did nothing for her (again) and the judges have already used their favourite word: 'class'. Shall we count how many times they say it?

Aiden

OK, let's start with the look - Aiden, enough with the makeup. You're starting to look less Johnny Depp, more Winona Ryder. Aesthetics aside, this was easily the creepiest performance of the night, though I'm sure we all expected that (I assume Katie will be singing Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid or something?). Choosing Thriller was either really stupid or really clever, but definitely brave. I loved that he made it his own and you know exactly who he is as an artist - and don't want to see him smile anymore because that's scarier than the intensity...

Belle Amie
Bearing in mind I watched this on catch up, I would like to say I only bothered watching this for the purpose of this blog. I'll try to stay awake. Easily, one of the worst song choices of all X Factor history - Venus was murdered (though it was half dead already) by the girl non-group. Who wasn't thinking of the razor advert? No one.  They should have stayed in those coffins or gone trick or treating instead. Personally, I think they should ditch the blonde - or 'the pretty one' who can't sing, as she likes to be known, and become a trio. The other three are less annoying and can sort of sing in tune so long as they don't have to dance at the same time. 

Rebecca

Little miss perfect up next, with a witch's hat on already in the VT, isn't she a good sport? Wicked Games was, to be fair, a genius song choice.... too genius perhaps - are they trying to make sure she wins? If she's not careful she'll be known as 'puppet hands' like lovely Diana Vickers was soon, as she seems to be glued to the spot whenever she performs (so yes, Simon, she is very much like the next Leona Lewis). Can't fault her voice though and she would actually be perfect if only she had a personality, but who cares because as they are all saying, she is CLASS. So, like everyone else then. Also, her earrings hurt my eyes.

Treyc

I keep thinking Treyc is in Louis' group because they make her seem so old. I think she'd be better off marketing herself as a Jamelia style, kitten-ish pop star, because at the moment she's just... Treyc with the good voice. Or, she could head up a new girlband a la Eternal. That would be fun. Anyway, she belted out Relight My Fire (Take That night, anyone?) and made us think she might dance but really only wiggled from side to side. Still, her voice wins every time and she looked pretty damn good. The most exciting thing of her performance was after when Simon and Cheryl had a tiff, and Simon agreed with Dannii. First time for everything...

Matt

I admit I cringed when I heard he was singing Bleeding Love, because it is true - Leona is pretty much the only person who can sing it. He didn't own it this week and it felt like he just wanted it to be over and done with. But his voice is still so enjoyable and he's the kind of artist I could listen to for hours on end, so he still gets my vote - and Simon praised him (yay!) and was right in saying that he never does karaoke, it's always pure Matt (swoon). Also, police - I'd like to report the hat is still missing. Getting quite distressed now.

Wagner
Wagner compared the X Factor to Hollywood. Then Brian said for the first time we really get to hear him singing this week. I nearly switched off there and then - the things I do for blogging, eh? His apparently 'operatic' number was supposed to show us how great he is but I didn't understand a word of it and was distracted by the bondage-wearers humping the floor. On the other hand, I feel so sorry for him being Louis' little puppet that he gets to play with each week (now that Storm's gone, double the fun) and worry that he really really wants this and we're all just laughing at him. Ouch. 

Paije

I adore Paije even more, if possible, after this week's performance. Back to Black was pure and utter genius (obviously, because it's Dannii) and just like Matt, he manages to turn it into his very own song that makes me want to press 'play' again. The cinema boy definitely stepped up his performing skills this week (but let's not give too much credit to Brian), but I don't think he's got the clothes right yet. What should he wear? I honestly don't know...

Katie Weasel

Sorry Aiden, I was wrong. This was the creepiest performance of the night because Katie has been turned into the White Witch a la Tilda Swinton, for an annoyingly bouncy version of Bewitched. This girl cannot dance and I think she should probably go into fashion instead, since she clearly likes playing with the dressing up box. Whatever she does, I'd rather she did it away from cameras because I am fed up of seeing her on my TV. Meow. 

One Direction

Do these guys not have colleges to go to or something? Time for the second non-band band of the night and One Direction are pouting already. It makes me feel a bit sick. The curly hair one only has one angry expression when he sings, the moody one has been practising his Lee Ryan face again, and the one with the sweepy hair is acceptable but either way, Total Eclipse of the Heart was NOT built for a wimpy boyband. Give it some welly for goodness' sake.

Cher
Shall we just call it the Cher Factor? Clearly they kept her 'til last because they knew everyone heard she was going for something completely different (what, no lamppost watering tonight?). But, I admit it - this performance was incredible. I absolutely love this Shakespeare's Sister song and was petrified she'd kill it (in a bad way, not a 'street' way) but she seriously pulled it off. She can't hold her notes for long like the other female vocalists can (no, not Katie) but I am impressed with her voice and would probably buy her album. She can be in the top three easily. Never thought I'd say that...

Given that I wrote this a little late I caught the results show already and yes, the voting public have redeemed themselves and Katie and Belle Amie had to battle it out. But then stupid Louis went to stupid deadlock which means we have to listen to Katie/Cruella de Vil/White Witch sing yet again... another reason to find Louis annoying, if you needed one.

Paije

I am totally on the same page as Paije.To sing Ain't Nobody was complete genius and we should all bow down at his and Dannii's feet. He still dresses like a pimp/Smartie but I love him. Wondering if he could be the sneaky winner, that would be fun. What have they done to his hair though? It's a bit tall. I'd quite like to see him get with three other soulful singers and recreate Boyz II Men.

John

Poor John. Is it just me or is he living in the wrong era? Watching him is like watching TOTP2. Enjoyable, but something you watch with your dad. His idea of commanding a stage is standing there waving his arms (and head, so annoying) around, though I guess you can't blame him. And yes the dancers were distracting because the camera wouldn't leave them alone. He's also been given somewhat Jedward-like hair.... hmmm. His days are numbered. Maybe he could join Paije for Boyz II Men the Second?

Rebecca

Dammit, Cheryl chose well for Rebecca this week. 'Why Don't You Do Right', made famous by the sexiest cartoon character ever, Ms Jessica Rabbit, was purrrrfect for Rebecca's voice. What was disappointing though was that they pre-empted it with talk of her performing a bit more, but she only tottered about two yards to the piano and back again. We wanted her to launch into the more recent Gramophonedzie version, that would have really knocked our stockings off.

Cher

Oh I want to hate her. I do hate her a bit. But I think she might be my guilty pleasure. It's like watching a chav that I went to school with getting to play dress-up on national television. She looks like a dog cocking its leg to water a lampost when she dances but she can, annoyingly, rap reasonably well. She looks very at home up there with those fat eyelashes that make her eyes disappear and her Cheryl-esque red tinged hair (which Rebecca also had....spare hair dye anyone?). Sulk. 

Matt Cardle

Swooooooon. Sorry, er, I mean, wasn't he good. Like really good. Lovely Matt brought out the guitar this week, but forgot to bring his hat (which I moaned about for roughly ten minutes). He looked far more himself with no penguin suit on, just a laid back look for a laid back guy - swoon again. Singing Britney's Hit Me Baby One More Time (better, it has to be said, than when my ex sang it to me once, avec guitar. True story.), we met Matt the musician. I like him, obviously. However, next time they go to Topshop, may I suggest he spends more time in the accessories section. 

One Direction

The five individuals who have to sing together are still not in my favourites list. And singing Nobody Knows is pushing it, boys. That song is too good for you (and as Dannii said, not a guilty pleasure). I do however have a soft spot for the curly one (I refuse to learn their names) and still despise the one who thinks he's Lee Ryan. Can someone tell them that's not a good thing?

Treyc

This week Treyc became a Rock Chick, as is compulsory in all X Factor lifetimes. She appeared to have pom-poms on her shoulders and had also dipped into Cheryl's hair dye, presumably in order to not feel left out. They said this was a big performance number, so I expected lots of dancing. But she mainly stood there belting out the tune until the cringeworthy moment when she had to get down on her knees while not flashing pants, breaking her knees or twisting her ankle in her heels. Round of applause for getting back up again without doing herself an injury. 

Mary

All together now... cheat! Cheat! Mary cheated! Miss Mary sang a song that we have heard her sing before. This is cheeky. And boring. I could hardly stay awake, sorry Tesco. We spent the time during her performance deciding whether she had a bra on or in fact had nipple-less boobs, and discovering that my friend owns the same earrings. Then the judges started talking and when Dannii asked for a more recent song choice, Mary basically said she can't do current stuff, which kinda kills the hope of winning. 

Aiden

This little Johnny Depp lookylikey had some damage control to do and I'm not sure he pulled it off. I feel so nervous watching him that it's not really enjoyable. Next week, I will watch with my eyes closed, as what with his twitchy awkward performance and him doing it on that platform, I was scared he was going to jump off throughout his (very good) rendition of Diamonds are Forever. Oh god, and when he spoke to Dermot and did his 'moves'? I stopped fancying him right there. 

Belle Amie

They're like The Saturdays aren't they? Only they're more like The Tuesdays because everyone hates a Tuesday. Most boring song choice ever, they sang I'll Stand By You in a way that allowed all of them to sing on their own as much as possible. Further evidence that they are the least group-like group ever. Likely to leave this week. 

Wagner

Ricky Martin must be making money out of this guy, surely? Livin' La Vida Loca, for some unknown reason, was mixed with Spice Up Your Life (though glad Spice got into the show!) for this face-palm causing performance. Sorry Wagner lovers, but I think this burst the bubble a bit as he didn't seem to even try singing properly. He also wore a very bright vest which wouldn't be deemed good enough for a fishing net let alone to wear. The judges comments were awkward, particularly when he did a little jig. Risky. 

Katie

Well, you can't say Katie isn't trying. Weirdest song choice of the night came from the girl with roots that everyone loves to hate, who sang King of the Swingers. No, really. She's clearly not a dancer, so having to see her potter around the stage in her heels was a little painful, but I have to say (with gritted teeth) that she pulled it off, despite looking like a cross between Marilyn Monroe and Big Bird.

So, the boys all seemed to have Jedward hair (except for One Direction, who have hair that must sweep a certain way or else you're fired), the girls all got the Cheryl treatment (except for Katie, disappointingly) and the dancers are more randy than ever. My predictions - John, Wagner and Belle Amie are not safe...

Just as Big Brother made Friday nights in more bearable (well, every night in, actually... that show was on a lot), we can now not feel so bad about turning down the chance of drinking into the early hours in a bar somewhere on a Saturday because instead we can shout at our television for over two hours while enjoying a cup of tea. Thank you, X Factor. 

Live show number two was a little less exciting because the hatred for Cher and Katie is already old news... until they sing of course, and then we remember why we want to tear their hair out and hit them with a microphone. A lot of wobbly performances, a wardrobe malfunction and more... it must be 'heroes' week...

Storm Lee

Oh no, not again. As my tweet at the time said, he looked like he'd been raped by a glitter ball. And still the pink hair... why? It does nothing for that pasty face of his. His performance wasn't too bad - he sounds a bit like a weaker, less cool Bryan Adams - but, it's not working. 

Treyc Cohen

I'd like to point out that my dad's comments on Treyc were 'She should really have had that dress made in a different fabric. The quilted look makes her look very fat.' Thanks, Dad. 

Dress aside, Treyc was amazing. She clearly has the strongest voice in the competition - which would have won it for her a few years ago, but nowadays it's all about image and she's lacking one. 

Paije

I still don't get the dress sense but I don't care. Paije is cool. His voice was a bit shaky but he chose a very hard song to sing and as Simon said, he's like 'sunshine' so it doesn't matter. The only thing I'm not sure about is the way he performs - it seems too old for him and a little bit camp. Don't pout Paije, you're cute enough. 

One Direction

Sigh. One Dimensional more like. The problem with putting the band together (and the same for Belle Amie) is that they all act like individuals. If the camera goes to just one of their faces, you'd think they were singing alone, complete with dramatic and cliched moves and facial expressions.

Cher

The chavvy mini Cheryl still can't speak properly (has she got all her teeth?) but is still trying to rap. To be fair to her, she can rap better than she sings. I'd quite like to see her come out and try to do an Eminem song just to see if she can still do that awful gorilla-like crooked leg lift at the same time. She's only 17 - can they calm her down a bit, remove some of that terrible make up and take away her MASSIVE ego? Then I might like her...

John

He's a bit Stevie Wonder-esque in his head wiggling, is John. And so, so nasal. I was surprised when the judges gave him good comments; I still think he's lacking in charisma and needs to stop grinning at us as he sings. It's creepy. 

Diva Fever

I normally hate duos unless it's a Twix but I really enjoy these two. They're more camp than Louis (that's saying something) and always look ridiculous, but they belt out their lyrics with such enthusiasm, hating them would be like hating a pair of cute toddlers giggling - impossible. You have to laugh along with them. Possibly while wearing sunglasses. 

Rebecca

For some reason I'm convinced this girl is called Rachel - I cannot remember her name still (see previous post). However, she does have a lovely Macy Gray/Sade-esque voice which, as Cheryl said, is instantly recognisable as being hers - which is a pretty good talent to have. Her dress though, which looked like a blackcurrant going scuba diving, was bloody awful. 

Aiden

The one most people were talking about last night, Aiden messed up. His John Lennon song was all a bit much for him and his awkward, nervous, shaky performance style from last week was still there, only this time it didn't suit the song. He also sounds a bit like Placebo. This is a good thing. But bad comments from the judges left him saying 'It was a bit rubbish' - at which point I wanted to run on and give him a hug (tricky to do from my living room) - but he's still got a great voice when he controls it, and is getting cuter by the second. His suit didn't look too good though - a few people agreed with my tweet that he looked like a guy who had just got drunk at a wedding and wandered off singing.

Wagner

Watching Wagner is like when you're on holiday and the guy in charge of the restaurant you're eating at decides to start singing. Or like watching the hotel's entertainment show. It's painful. I feel a bit sad that he seems to be the joke of the show. And the dancers are still rubbing themselves - it's not good. But, it's got Louis written all over it. So let's blame him instead.

Katie

Yep, we still hate her. Despite the judges begging us to give her another go, she's still an arrogant little so and so with bad roots. She did do well in the sing-off last week - well, it was only the second time we'd heard her sing, what with all her failed auditions - so it came as a bit of a surprise that she has a voice in there. But I still can't like her, or think she deserves a place in these finals. Gerroff my telly, blondie.

Belle Amie

The clips for this so-called group pre-performance were embarrassing - with the blonde one claiming she didn't want to be the 'pretty' one who doesn't sing (they were all arguing over who gets to do a solo bit). If I were you girls, I wouldn't want to do a solo bit - you weren't good enough on your own, remember? Oh, and one had a wardobe malfunction. She didn't hide it well, doing the oh-so-classy 'must keep my bra up' move.

Mary

Tesco's Finest was less shouty this week, but she is starting to remind me of Miss Trunchball from Matilda all the same. She'll be safe for a while though. I don't dislike her, but she really would have got a record deal without even being on these shows thanks to the hype she had in auditions and bootcamp. Snore.

Matt

MATT'S HAT IS MISSING. But that was my only issue. Talk about saving the best 'til last -  I am ashamed to say I didn't know the song (Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars, I am now informed) but I've had it on repeat on Spotify since I found out. There's something very cool and individual about Matt and I love him. But I love him more with a hat on (though this is true of all men I like). My only other teeny weeny criticism is that I would quite like to see him with a proper band behind him, after seeing clips of him in a band when he was younger - it suits him somehow.

The Results

It was another double elimination, with Storm getting chucked out straight away while Belle Amie and Diva Fever battled it out. Obviously, Diva Fever left because they are a duo and not as press-grabbing as the cringeworthy Jedward. What's the stylist going to do with all the left over glitter? I vote they put it on Cher and dress her like a girly girl. That'd piss her off.

I'm not a bitchy person, honest. I just really like television/entertainment programmes/music and am thinking that what we really need is 'The Judge Factor' so that we can vote for and elect judges who will do more than just try and create buzz in the press... sigh. That said, I still love Dannii Minogue.

Since I'm not a close friend of Simon Cowell's and that probably won't happen, it's on with the show and my first ever X Factor blog post. The first live show kicked off last night, and having just watched it online I had to write about it... or else lose all of my Twitter followers and Facebook friends with incessant delayed-reaction status updates.

I'll try to be brief. I miss the days of Pop Idol where all they had to do was stand there and sing in the spotlight, with maybe the odd side step and air grab thrown in for good measure. Now it's all gone a bit Gaga (more on Katie later) and everyone has to have weird dancers and silly props to distract you from the fact that some of them can't actually sing. The judges have a new buzz-phrase of 'S/he is making a point tonight, they have a point to make, they have to really make their point....' just in case we needed reminding that they chose mostly wrong people to go through. But it's ok, because all the judges had a wildcard and picked decent acts to bring back (well, apart from Louis, but it's to be expected).

So... I was cringeing, my jaw comically dropped and stayed there for a good five minutes at one point, and I already want to see tonight's show. Here's what happened on live show number one...

F.Y.D

The boyband which was not created by Simon's ego started off the show. On first look I was disappointed... they were way too grin-ny, the one with the punk haircut sounds a bit like a (bad) Boy George and in general they annoyed me. But, on second watch the song really suited them and they looked fairly comfortable up there. Plus, at least they're a real group who have known each other for more than five minutes, right?

Matt Cardle

Ok, ok - I'm biased because I've loved this guy since day dot, but Matt done good. This one can sing, you see. He did a great rendition of When Love Takes Over - not something I'd expect him to sing and he nailed it. He didn't have twenty dancers behind him either, as he doesn't need it... my only issue was that I was begging him to put the microphone stand down, as he was hanging onto it for dear life, but I imagine we can blame Brian for that one. Oh, and he had his hat on. Good lad. 

John Adeleye

I had high hopes for this one, having decided I don't really like anyone other than Matt. It's about time we had a good soulful voice from someone a little bit cool (sorry Andy Abraham) and despite being in the over the hill category I thought John could do well. Enter, Louis. He chose One Sweet Day and it was so cheesy, obvious and boring that I'm surprised poor John didn't yawn his way through it. He needs to be cool rather than sickly, and the pretty nasal vocals didn't help. 

Rebecca Ferguson

I keep struggling to remember this girl's name... couldn't she have changed it to something more star-like? Anyhoo, Rebecca does have a memorable, dusty, syrupy voice that probably deserves to be in the live shows. She sang pretty well but she should slap the stylist for making her look about 80 and needs to learn to own a stage. She looks like she's meant to have two band mates with her to take a share of the spotlight, and it's a bit annoying to watch.Oh, and she seems to find the floor fascinating. 

Storm Lee

I don't really have an opinion on this Storm guy... he's in Louis' group so is there any point? That said, the song suited him, his voice is quite good and he would have been fine if he hadn't been spray painted and dressed up like a Barbie doll. It was so camp and try-hard, all I felt was sorry for the guy. I hope he's old enough to stand up for himself and get the image sorted before next week. He's been humiliated enough, no?

Belle Amie

The 'created' girl group were dressed a bit oddly in my opinion but were blessed with a song that everyone likes right now (Airplanes) so they could yell 'WE'RE CURRENT! WE'RE SO NOW!' without actually yelling it. The arrangement was a bit off but I think they 'made their point' enough to stay a little longer, and could work well if they don't want to scratch each other's eyes out.

Cher Lloyd

Oh, Cher. Cher-yl. Look at that. They're practically the same. Except that Cheryl tries to be gangster while also selling hair products and maintaining a squeaky clean image, whereas Cher sings a bit like she's on crack and looks like she could be about to topple over from the weight of her eyelashes at any minute. Blaming tonsilitis isn't really good enough to explain why she oh-so-failed at judge's houses, but anyway, that's all in the past. And press. Last night she had a point to make too, and she may have pulled it off... only votes will tell. Cheryl's all excited because she's got someone who can rap and look a bit 'street' (everything she wants but can't do). But all I see is someone out of their depth who has one single bony-hipped dance move. She also can't speak properly - odd considering she can rap.

Diva Fever

These guys are so sweet. I can't stand duos. But they are sweet. In all their neon-campness, they can sing a bit too. But their performance was a lot like something Louis would put together after eating a special brownie. All bright colours, most of the vocals from one of them (presumably because the other was blinded by all the colour) and a few giggles. But this from Simon? I think he's just playing with them like a kid with dolls because he doesn't see them going far. 

Paije Richardson

My favourite comeback kid, Paije's performance of Killing Me Softly was as good as we all expected. His jacket was hideous but apart from that, he's winning material. I think he'd do better over on American Idol though... they seem to love this kind of artist and appreciate them much more than here in the boring pop-loving UK. I'd love a Paije/Matt final, but it probably won't happen.

Katie Waissel

Worst performance of the night, easily. Not just because I'm biased and think along with the rest of the world that she shouldn't be there in the first place, but because she is not the star she thinks she is and also looked like Cruella de Vil. I 'get' Simon's comment of likening her to Cyndi Lauper, but her 'quirky' look (i.e looking like someone who frequents Shoreditch high street) was pushed, er, a bit far. Like Gaga far. It was embarrassing, she looked awful, the keyboard stuff was awful, and the whole thing was ridiculous, which sums up every performance she's ever done on the X Factor. I hope she's put out of her misery (and us too) by leaving tonight.

Mary Byrne

The token 'super normal' act, Tesco Mary has got a huge following already so I won't moan. Much. I do like our Mary, but really, what's going to happen? If she wins, she'll have an album of covers and all the mums will be happy. Great. But I want fresh talent, something different, someone who brings something really individual or at least something that fills a gap in the market. Personally I think Mary would do fab as the next Jane McDonald (that's not an insult, I love Jane) on the cruises, but if Top of the Pops were still around I wouldn't want her on it. Sorry. But she should definitely keep singing... just not on television, much.

Nicolo Festa

I don't get it. I really don't understand where this guy is coming from or why he was put through, other than for being memorable as a weirdo. I adore Dannii but this year I think her mummy brain might have made her make some booboos. He's very aloof, doesn't have a memorable look and I don't understand how he can make anything 'his own' as Dannii says because I don't understand what 'his own' is. Giving him a Gaga song was not wise, though it did help him scream 'European' in case we hadn't got that already. His voice isn't really there (or at least last night it wasn't) and he looked completely wrong doing choreographed moves... though I'm not sure what he should be doing instead other than pouting. 

One Direction

The teenyboppers. I'm sure if I was in school I'd feel different but these guys are just... no. What's with the one in the leather who looked angry throughout? And the terrible dance moves that looked like they were being shocked via mini vibrators? There was a mixture of dad dancing, nervous twitching and drama-school faces in there, and I didn't like it. They do look right as a band, well done Simon etc etc, but that's sort of where it ends. I think they should have said, 'You're a band now - now come back next year and audition when you know each other and have grown some face fluff'. Then they could have come up with a better name too.

Wagner

So good he only has a first name? Or... not. I assume Wagner was put through purely for comedy value - I missed his first audition so don't know if he ever wowed us, but the only thing that wowed me was the fact that they were allowed to have female dancers rubbing their own boobs and bums like cheap porn, at - what? 8pm on a Saturday night? Oh dear. If that's what he needs for us to think he's a keeper, then... fail. 

Aiden Grimshaw

I was anti-Aiden until today, when I finally saw what everyone was on about. I think it was the hair that distracted me before. This little boy can sing rather well, and the vulnerable look he's working could, well, work for him. He's a bit like Joe McElderry but with an edge, and an evil rather than angelic smile. I might like him. His nervy, shakey style suited Mad World, but I couldn't tell whether it was part of the act or if he was just shaking with nerves. Either way it was a bit awkward to watch (Dannii looked petrified) but the voice made up for it. Final three please.

Treyc Cohen

Finally, someone a bit normal. Treyc has the voice, a rather large but pert (so she's ok) bottom and a hard time ahead to compete with the press-attention-grabbers Katie and Cher who are alongside her in Cheryl's group. I quite enjoyed that she openly said when the others found out about the wildcard they didn't seem best pleased, and the clip of her talking to a worried Katie made me cackle. I think they tried to give her Tina Turner hair which wasn't necessary but One was a perfect song choice and despite what Simon said I think she's got an ok look. He's probably just not used to seeing people with curves, being next to Cheryl and all. I think Treyc is this year's Alexandra Burke: she'll be consistent throughout and may be the one to watch, in the background while everyone else is having diva moments. 

Obviously, everyone has their own opinions (please do comment with yours) and these are just mine... it depends what you want from the show. Personally I love a big voice from someone who can perform whether it's sitting on the floor next to someone with a guitar or while being catapaulted in from a different studio... so long as it suits their own style. To be honest, I'm more excited about Usher being on the show tonight than who's to go out in the double elemination...

It's official. Becky Bloomwood is back and has gone absolutely barmy. It's been a while since we had a Bloomwood update, what with the film and various other books from Kinsella coming out - and either I have forgotten just how mental the shopaholic is, or she really has lost it (in a good way). 

I saved Mini Shopaholic for my brief holiday in Dorset this week, and finished it in two days - and I wasn't even reading the whole time. I couldn't put it down. Kinsella's wit is so addictive, I just couldn't get enough of the Bloomwood antics. In this book, Becky has her two year old daughter Minnie, and is living with gorgeous (in my head he is) husband Luke in her parents' house, while they try and sort out their own house-buying catastrophes. The apple does not fall far from the tree at all, with Minnie being able to flag down her own cabs, wanting everything in sight and repeatedly asking for a Starbucks. Poor Luke.

As per usual, Becky gets herself high-leg-boot-deep in trouble, and it is exasperating but hilarious to read. Much like watching a film and yelling at the television to say 'No! Go that way! Don't do that! Tell him the truth!' etc (Oh, is that just me?), I wanted to give Becky a shake and tell her where she was going wrong. Only I couldn't because I remembered it was a book and wanted to read more and see what else she got up to. 

One of my favourite parts in the book was early on where she thinks, in true Becky style, how wonderful the pony that Minnie has got her hands on is, and then decides that as they come as a set she needs to get them both. I love her trail of thought, and the scary fact that it's the kind of thing that goes through my head when shopping (I'm not Bloomwood-level though, promise). 

If it's even possible for Becky to get any more nutty... then I can't wait for the next book.

Just a quickie for all the Sophie Kinsella fans out there. As well as her brand new Mini Shopaholic book that just came out this month, there are more books of hers out there than you may think. Before creating the well-loved Shopaholic series, Kinsella wrote a good few books under her real name, Madeleine Wickham. 

I found a couple of them at bargain prices on eBay some time ago and am yet to read them (I have an entire bookshelf full of books I am yet to read - I'm busy!), and when checking Amazon lately I noticed that she is now rebranding all those old ones to be under her better known name - a wise move! I am saving the Shopaholic one for my time off next week (you have no idea how hard it's been to wait!), and also bought Cocktails for Three, to add to my other bargain buys of Sleeping Arrangements and A Desirable Residence. 

Inside the cover of the newly marketed books, Kinsella does say that she wrote under different names because the earlier books are a different style of writing - but with writing as good as hers, I'm sure they'll still be too good to put down.

Any recommendations of her other books? I also highly recommend her 'Kinsella' ones which are outside of the Shopaholic series - the Undomestic Goddess, Remember Me?, Can You Keep a Secret and more recently Twenties Girl are laugh-out-loud, choke-on-your-drink funny.

I've lived in London for five years. I love cities so it wasn't a drastic step for me, but I am from a small village in Sussex, near Brighton, where old people say hello when you walk past them and you can't go to a bar without bumping into, well, your entire tutor group from year seven. London has already changed me a bit - and it's most noticeable when I'm somewhere else. I'm not sure London will ever officially be home, but I'm definitely becoming a Londoner. Here are a few reasons why.

You know you live in London when...

What have I missed?